I gave my Son life but really He gave me mine
Text by: Gintarė Žarkova
Image by: Akvilė Ražauskienė
10 February, 19    |    10 min read
O

n the celestial evening of December 2017 I got the blessing to become a Mother. The very same second I saw my divine Son I understood what unconditional love is. And so the story of Lukas Meanui begins. Recently, He turned one. Wow! The time flies by rapidly.

This written piece is the ode of my gratitude. I share with you what my new astounding status MAMA made me learn.

 

That life-changing evening of December was my new start. Our new start. Due to new grand responsibilities and my husband’s deployment to Iraq I had to instantly become efficient multitasking-capable superwoman. A superwoman who had to be able to remain attentive, patient, supportive, happy, and organized despite lack of sleep. Some days were easy, some days were hectic. Simple as that. Newborn baby Lukas from his very first breath became my lion. He truly gave me all the strength I needed. Additionally, my Mother stayed with me for two weeks to ensure I eat and rest.

“Ačiū, Mamyte. I know I might have been a pain in the neck every day, but you still were by my side. I want to also thank my neighbours who cooked for me and constantly checked if everything was all right.” 

And then I apprehended that actually all mothers ARE already superwomen who have to remain attentive, patient, supportive, happy, and organized despite lack of sleep. Additionally, I understood that with the great “power” comes grand moments of weakness. Dear mothers, I hope you know that you, superwomen, are allowed to fail. Don’t you? You can be grumpy, sad, angry, or impatient. You surely can (and sometimes must) be disorganized and chaotic. As long as you understand how blessed you are in all those moments. I understand. My baby boy gave me an essential meaning for my life. He empowered me in a new way. He presented me with knowledge of how to better master my life. Those are my five points:

Be here and now with joy, respect, and appreciation of your life and your time

The biggest waste of time and of YOU is to wait for something to make you happy someday. NO. Decide to be happy now. Take full responsibility of your life and blame nobody. Accept all the things happening around you. Remind yourself of how gifted you are to be on this Earth, and to be a Mother! Let us be inspired by babies! Look, they are sincerely happy to simply see birds flying around or little John Deere tractor cruising the streets. Dear Mothers, I know some of you think that you had put your careers on hold. However please remember two things. First, to raise a child is a magnificent responsibility. Do this “job” the best you can. Some days and nights can be demanding. Just remember that nights are long but the years...are short. Believe me you will miss all this in eighteen years. Second, this “career on hold” time may serve you as a wonderful transformational time to rediscover of who you are. Think of new aspirations in life as a Mother, as a Superwoman.

Be slower

I consciously try to get rid of the “perfectionist” mode who is always on the go. I used to always be in a hurry, always rushing and running. This made me lose the inner peace and caused disharmony countless times. According to ayurveda, my dominant dosha is pitta (fire) so the more I rush the more imbalanced I get. Now, as a Mother, I decided to simply act slower. By being slower I do not advice you to reshape your temperament and turn into phlegmatic. I advise you to plan your time better which will allow you to live slower but deeper, to have more “you time” without stress and anxiety. I advise you to practice “sitting on the floor” more and play (truly play) more often with own baby. You do not need to rush. The world is impeccable. Living fast-paced we tend to lose the ability to notice it. (Undone dishes sometimes are beautiful on its own terms.)

Be you

You are already enough and great. You are a Mother. Make the best out of motherhood. For your baby and for yourself. You might be raising the future genius or champion, have fun, enjoy the journey. You are so powerful, imagine?! Mother of an extraordinary human being!! Moreover, do not imprison yourself with running after fake labels. Profession, career, social status, possessions, material wealth is NOT you. Do not desire material things, it solely clutters your mind and your home. Desire consciousness, because the more awaken you are the more alive you feel. When people ask me about “on hold,” “grand” political career, I tell them, that motherhood is the best diplomacy job I have ever taken. It truly makes me happy. When I succeed in dealing with my super curious, vivid, joyful, and playful Son, who already has his own opinion and ways of doing things, without losing my temper then I believe I can say I am a true Ambassador-in-chief of my family. I am a Mother who adores her Son. I am a loving wife who appreciates her hard-working husband. What job I will take next only God knows. And now I am thankful for being me. Being a Mother is my life long "career." The most invaluable and rewarding one.

Be self-sufficient

What I realized is that self-sufficiency is a key manifestation for enjoying individual freedom. You will no longer have expectations. Expectations lead us to the illusion that people HAVE to do something for us. Try to execute things on your own. When things do not get right, of course, do not be afraid to ask for help (but truly on the very last instance). Never take acts of kindness for granted. Understand that if someone is kind to you it is because they consciously chose to be that way. Live your life in kindness and be wholehearted, sincere, humble, giving, open-minded, and real. Good things will happen to you. Nobody owns anything to you and you own nothing to anyone.  

Stop willing to be in charge. Let it go

Lukas Meanui is my best teacher of diplomacy and of patiency. Simple example: it gets truly crispy and freezing in winter, in Lithuania. And no wonder why we wear gloves. But tell that to babies. My little Lion dislikes mittens. Moreover he finds it funny to take it off and to see how I react:) He takes it off I put it right back on again. After 20th time what happens?…. He laughs so hard and I am silently counting from 1 to 50. Yes, not always I am Mrs. Perfectly Calm Queen but I intent. And I realize that raising a child requires immense flexibility and a positive attitude when things go not your “planned” way. I grasp that I cannot and should not control everything. Mothers, let us relax! Babies are to be raised happily. They should never be comfortable. Often they have a better suggestion of doing things, observe them and accept their new ways.

After the 25th time of taking off his mittens we get indoors, visit the museum, get coffee, watch cars, etc. Embrace the freedom of “maneuver.”  

Dear Lukas, my beloved baby, I forever remain so grateful for you that you chose me to be your Mother. I gave you life but really YOU gave me mine. Your Daddy and I we bow low and wholeheartedly ask for ourselves pure wisdom, consciousness, bravery, and patience in this marvelous journey of helping you grow. Forgive us, if at times our fears or lack of knowledge would hinder your dreams. Help us grow together with you and always remember that we are your home. Thank you!!

 

 

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Quote to inspire

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”― Albert Einstein

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